Image by @lolalita.art

 

BDSM Knowledge Series – Interview With A Dominant

 

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, this is the hotly anticipated follow-up to Interview With A Submissive. My chat with Ms Nighteyes really opened my eyes to the world of kink and BDSM play (you can find it here). Today we sit down with her Owner and Dominant, a 41-year-old Australian gentleman that goes by the alias, The Funny Dom (@TheFunnyDom).

 

His online following is funny, impressive and well worth checking out. He is a true meme lord though as you’re about to find out, there is a lot more to him than funny pictures.

 

Thanks for your time today, Sir! So, tell me, do you make your living from being Dominant?

No, I don’t D professionally, but I have had a few partners tell me I should, and I may do some dungeon guesting in the near future. I suppose my Patreon is now a professional type of work. I’m proud to be sex work adjacent. It’s certainly my aim to do it more.

 

And can you describe your sexuality?

I am Dominant, hetero, sadistic and caring.

 

That’s a funky offset, I like it! So, can you tell us what relationships you are currently in?

I am Ms Nighteyes Owner and Daddy. I have a more casual submissive connection interstate that I’m waiting to be able to reconnect with (post-Covid lockdowns), a ‘little’ I’ve been in a newer caregiver role for and a new ‘baby sub’ I’m about to begin training.

What does your training process look like? Do you have a formal syllabus you follow?

It’s certainly an instructive dynamic. When a partner is new to kink and looking for a Dom they can trust to ‘show them the ropes’ (pun intended), I am open to that kind of relationship as it is a natural fit with my service side and Daddy/teacher identity.

 

Do you practice Shibari with your Subs?

I do, yes. Though I casually refer to it as Rope Play. Shibari is the most common name for the artform of rope bondage. In a session or scene, I call it rope play or rope tying. I did an improvised tie with My Owned submissive (Ms Nighteyes) a few nights ago before an impact session.

 

And who taught you “the ropes”?

I would say I’m still learning them as my technical shibari skills have a long way to go. But the proverbial ones I’d credit to my many partners and many hours of reading and reflection.

 

Would you say being dominant is you playing a character?

No, that’s a common misconception. Being Dominant and submissive is not roleplay like teacher-schoolgirl. It is enacting part of your core identity. So it’s playing a character, that is you, not a character that is not. I am not a doctor, that would be roleplay and involve a costume etc, but I Am Daddy. That is part of who/what I am.

When did you first get started in this lifestyle, and what was life like for you before that?

I consciously embraced it about 5 yrs ago now. Life was fine before that, but I just wasn’t as much myself as I am now. And I’d say I’ve experienced much more sex and more importantly, much much more intimacy in the past 5 years than in the previous 15.

 

So the process has been liberating for you? Is that due to the people you’ve met, or is it something that has come from within?

Both. Finding, embracing, exploring and growing yourself is liberating. As is, connecting with others who are also on the same journey.

 

What’s the longest sub/Dom relationship you’ve had?

I’ve had a couple of dynamics spanning a year. My current relationship with my Owned partner (Ms Nighteyes) will be a year in January.

 

I better get an invite to the wedding!

Ha, it would be more like an orgy or collaring ceremony!

 

How does sex play into your BDSM sessions?

For myself, it’s very intertwined. I see BDSM Practises as very sensual and sexual. So, it’s sexual elementally, even if there’s no sexual activity per se. I have had a few dynamic sessions that did not include sex of any kind. But they were, for myself at least, very sexually charged. Caregiving for me, as a Daddy, is a big turn on, so unless it’s a strictly platonic relationship, caring for a sub is very stimulating.

 

Do you have a dungeon in your home?

Ha, no, no dungeon. Just a very moody bedroom with a nice toy chest full of toys and gear. I’m not sure how many kinksters actually have a dungeon or playroom, but I’m sure it’s less than the cliché leads folks to assume.

 

And what’s your favourite thing in that chest?

That’s an impossible choice to make.

What does a night of kink typically look like then?

I plan my sessions according to many parameters. My subs limits and preferences. Their recent behaviour. My mood. But typically, it will involve worship, teasing, impact, restraints, orgasm control and forcing and rough, connected fucking.

That’s followed by very mindful aftercare, discussion and reassurance—praise, hydrating and often some chocolate or mango.

 

Ha, you know how to treat a woman right! Tell me about orgasm control. It sounds fucking hot!

As my submissive partner’s Dominant, their climax belongs to Me. Once this form of play is discussed and consented to, permission must be sought and given for my submissive to cum. I will also, if I choose, force her to cum. Sometimes many times to the point of overstimulation if possible. Basically, your orgasm, much as you are yourself, is simply a thing for Me to play with and use.

 

Yep, as suspected, hot! These rules you reference, are they standard and written down somewhere. Or is it case by case, based on what everyone is comfortable with?

A rule is something else. There is no book or stone tablet of rules, no, lol. Kink should not be dogmatic. There are many types of play and techniques. But rules, that utilize these must be negotiated and agreed to between any partners.

 

Going back to misconceptions, what are the biggest ones people have with BDSM?

That it originates from abuse or that it IS abusive. Abuse is abuse, kink is play, just like board games. Though, I’d rather restrain a beloved partner to a board and play a different game! hehe

Also, that it’s purely physical or nihilistic. In my experience, BDSM is deeply connected, cathartic, and emotionally engaging—when practised as it should be.

 

Do your family and friends know about this side of you?

Some family, many friends. 1 or 2 even follow my page!

Does their acceptance matter to you?

Sure, their acceptance is validating and supportive. But I’ve only been open to those I feel would be. I’m sure I know people that might be more judgmental or narrow-minded.

 

How often do you play?

Ideally, I like to play 2-4 times per week

 

Does it consume your mind?

It’s a passion, intellectually and physically. I’m not sure it consumes my mind, lol. That’s a very dramatic way to put it. But it’s part of my lifestyle, so it IS part of my mind

 

How do you usually meet your subs? Through your socials?

No, not at all. I don’t use my page to meet partners. I try to meet partners and then show them my work/online presence when I feel comfortable. Most partners I’ve had I’ve met through dating apps.

Ms Nighteyes was recommended to me by a mutual connection.

 

Is that a kink dating app or a regular one?

Just a regular one.

 

Does your profile on their give this side of you away?

It mentions kink. I say I’m a proud, conscious Dominant when I say hello to anyone.

 

Do you ever switch (switch between Dominant and submissive)?

I’m not a switch, no. I have a little power versatility but only a little. Though I’m interested in possibly exploring that in the future if I meet a Domme that I feel that dynamic with.

 

Do you play in any professional dungeons?

Not yet. It’s not been a possibility this year. Maybe something to try next year!

 

What and who inspires you in the BDSM world at the moment?

@askasub and @itsbabylinh – Check them out!

 

And lastly, if someone is looking to get into BDSM, would your Patreon be a good place to start?

A perfect place to start, my Daddy Direct service is made to offer newcomers a starting point and an actual Dominant to speak with about their exploration.

 

Awesome! Thanks for your time today. As suspected, I learnt a lot and got very worked up talking about such passionate pursuits of the sexual heart. You can find The Funny Dom on Patreon here or on Instagram here @TheFunnyDom

 

If you missed the interview with his Owned submissive, Ms Nighteyes, please check that out here.

 

In the coming weeks, I’ve lined up a heap of great interviews. We are going to speak to a master Shibari rigger, a trans person about the process of transitioning and one very talented Parisian erotic artist. So stay tuned!