Master of Head: The Ultimate Blowjob Guide
Hey lovely people! It’s your friendly Blowjob Queen here. Whether you’re a cock sucking cowgirl from way back (like me) or a new recruit looking to get into the game, this guide is for you.
You know what they say, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right. And tonguing your mister’s dick is no exception. So let’s learn all about it.
This guide is broken down into a bunch of easy to read sections, so if you aren’t getting what you came for, skip along until you do.
Let’s Talk About Sex
This is the most important part of good sex and why I put this section first. No, I don’t mean dirty talk (though plenty of that never goes astray.) I mean talking to your partner before things get steamy to work out what each other likes and what they expect. If you’re on different pages before you start, I promise you won’t have a good time.
- Things to discuss;
- Limits
- Favourite techniques and dislikes
- Safewords and safe-signs
- Hygiene and safe sex practices
- How do you plan to finish
- Problems or insecurities
- Whether you want him controlling your head with his hand
HMG Tip: Never try and discuss sex during sex. It just doesn’t work, my darling blowjob disciples.
Safe Words & Signs
For obvious reasons, safewords are out while sucking dick. So let’s borrow a move from the UFC and go with the tap out. Or if you’re going full 50 Shades of Grey and they’ve got you tied up, then a simple sideways shake of the head is the go as it’s not a movement you’ll find during a headjob.
Keep ‘Em Keen
Forget the word job is in the title because if you act like it is, I’ll bet he’s not into it. It’s like when you ask for a massage, and he reluctantly says yes, then does a half-ass job for a few minutes before falling asleep on top of you. Same goes for sucking—you need to be the president of his cock’s fan club.
For a man, receiving head is a sacred act. No ifs, ands or buts. Don’t believe me, ask them. And to treat it any other way is sacrilege. I’ve enjoyed blowjobs over the years for a variety of reasons. Here is a list of some;
- Being selfless to please your man
- Showing appreciation
- Power & control
- Mutual sexual respect – what goes around, comes around
- Showing off your mad sucking dick skills
- Clean cocks and a healthy man’s cum tastes amazing (sorry, Mum, but they do)
If none of these reasons excite you, you might want to check how lopsided the passion in your relationship is before it’s too late.
Talk It Up
The best way of showing him how keen you are is by using your words and your groans. Nothing says ‘I love your big juicy cock in my mouth’ like a deep and dirty moan.
Other phrases that’ll melt his sexual heart;
- You have the most beautiful cock I’ve ever seen
- I can’t wait to blow
- I love sucking your dick
- You taste like heaven
- Give me your cream
- Fuck my mouth like I’m a dirty little wh—
You get the picture.
Who Said Sucking Dick Has To Be One-Sided
I dated an empath that refused to accept my blowjobs as a selfless act. If I wasn’t naked by the time my lips were around his cock, he would strip off my bottom half and finger me. This was his way of evening up the scorecard.
So if you’re getting bored or with someone that finds accepting pleasure difficult, then turn it into a ‘takes two to tango’ situation. The obvious variant to this is the holy trinity of oral sex and my favourite two numbers in the world, the 69.
Another alternative is to get yourself off at the same time. There’s nothing like fighting back your own orgasm while you try to set him off first. A little competition can make things a lot of fun.
Sucking Dick Technique
Starting Off
All good things start with a tease. It’s best not to open with your signature move because it’ll leave you with nowhere to go. Start with some light kissing along the side of the shaft, working your way down one side then up the other. Leave the head of the cock until last, as it’s the most sensitive part of the penis. You want to tease him into submission, not go kicking in the front door.
A fun way to get started is by getting your boo naked on his back, then getting out the trusty can of whipped cream and running a LONG line over his body that ends on his cock. Then all you do is follow it to the source.
Basic In & Out
If you’re just getting started in the blowjob world, then this is the technique to master. Open your mouth wider than needs be and let the head of his cock run over your tongue as you move forward. Close your lips up as you reach the furthest point, then apply some pressure with your lips as you pull back.
This technique is gold, especially in combination with some pressure from your hand and a tickle of the balls.
Tongue Twister
Take his penis just inside your mouth, then swirl your tongue around the head of his cock. Simple, proven, effective. Alternate directions to drive him wild.
HMG Tip: The tongue has a rough texture that is wonderfully stimulating to the cock. It’s as though they were made for each other.
Mouth Twister
Take him in your mouth and twist your head in one direction as you are moving your head forward, then twist back the other way as you pull back.
Suck & Pop
The name blow job is deceiving. Do not blow—he’ll know you’re a noob. Instead, suck gently, alternating the pressure as you go to keep him guessing. Suck harder as the head returns to your lips, then let it pop out of your mouth.
After a while, this will hurt your cheeks. When that starts happening, switch to another technique for a break.
Deep Throat
This technique isn’t for everyone. It takes time to work up to and requires a partner that is patient. Because you’ll be pushing your gag reflex, there’s a possibility of inducing vomit, violent coughing and crying, which can end a lovemaking session on the spot. But the rewards are undeniable. One guy I deep-throated said it felt like I was sucking heaven through his cock.
It’s good to practice this technique first (read the ‘Practice’ section for ideas) to train your gag reflex to become more resilient. Start by inserting something thin in your throat and let yourself gag. At this point, resist pulling it out and try to relax. The more you do it, the longer and deeper you’ll be able to go.
Hey, Cheeky
Using the inside of your cheek gives the same resistance and friction as deep throating. It also looks fucking divine which should titillate the fuck out of your man. A variant of this is to use the roof of your mouth. The ribs will feel great against the sensitive head of his penis
That’s Handy
Even the most skilled pro will need a break during a serious blowjob session. So before lockjaw sets in, slide those wet lips off his cock and let your hands do some of the work.
Other hand activities worth trying;
- Tweaking his nipples
- Fingering his anus
- Tickling his balls
- Playing with yourself
All good blowjobs use a combination of hands and mouth. Simply sucking away can take a long time to build enough tension to explode. Whereas a hand can create more friction and pressure to work in conjunction with our mouth and tongue.
Da Balls
The balls are just as sensitive as the shaft and shouldn’t escape your attention—especially when they’re freshly shaven. Mmmm. For every 3-4 minutes you spend on the shaft, be sure to spend a minute or two on the balls. Coupled with a light jerking, this technique can easily make your man cum.
Ice Ice Baby
This technique is awesome because it adds a completely different sensation to the mix. Suck on a few smaller blocks of ice or a scoop of ice cream for a minute before dropping your mouth over his cock. Swirl your icy tongue around his head and listen to him moan. Other things that work in much the same way; champagne, ice-cold water, strong mints.
HMG Tip: This works amazingly well on nipples too.
HMG Tip: Avoid these techniques unless your head is upright for choking and spillage reasons.
The Magic Button
Is The Bachelor about to start, and you NEED to get him off quick-smart? Well, hit his magic button (anus hole) by fingering it lightly, and he should be exploding in seconds. Some dudes are super funny about this, so get their permission first.
Your Way
The beauty of sucking dick is it’s entirely unique to you. Even if you’re performing the same technique as someone else, it will feel completely different when you do it. So think of yourselves as artists and create a style that you’re proud of.
Best Positions For Sucking Dick
On Ya Knees, Girl!
If you catch me blowing a guy (and I hope you naughty voyeurs do just that), chances are I’ll be on my knees with the lucky dude standing in front of me. This position works so well for so many different reasons. It also highlights the power differential, which to me is a complete fucking turn on as I’m very submissive when I’m with men.
HMG Tip: Once you’re going for it, be sure to look up at him as innocently as you can. This drives guys wild!
69
Getting a 69 right and cumming together is the sexual equivalent of launching a rocket into space. I remember the first time a 69 was suggested to me. I was nervous about having a man on top of me, pinning me down while he fucked my face. I fixed this by getting on top and I would recommend that position (or both on your sides) to anyone that’s new to the sport because you’ll still have control.
Positioning with a 69 can be a real issue. So take it easy, use some pillows to help with your comfort and relax. If it’s still not happening, leave it, do some more research and give it a go next time.
Bound & Gagged
My go-to is strapping my boo to the bed in a starfish position and kneeling between his legs. This gives you free rein of the entire operation and should hopefully drive him wild. If the tables are turned, and you’re the one getting bound, then make sure you’ve had a good conversation beforehand about safewords and expectations.
Back It Up
I’m a relative newcomer to this move, but I’m also a big fan. Lie flat on your back on the bed with your head hanging over the edge. Get your boo to stand over you and take him in your mouth. Word on the street is this position is great for deep throating.
Standing 69 (WARNING: Super advanced technique)
I’ve only been with one guy that was game and strong enough to pull this off. And honestly, I won’t even try to explain how he did it because I was just a passenger on this ride. But boy oh boy, was it good. Hanging in midair, having his mouth on my pussy while I worked his cock was the stuff of dreams. If you don’t think it’s possible, do some research because there are a few kooky looking variants to try.
Precum
Not all men release precum, though plenty do. It’s a clear liquid that helps lubricate the tube that the cum will travel down. And while it doesn’t contain sperm, it can pick up any that’s already in your man’s tube. The quantity is usually so minor and the taste so indistinguishable that the chances are you won’t even notice it. But if you do, don’t freak out. It’s just a normal bodily function.
How Can You Tell?
Honestly, if you’re with a decent dude, he should tell you he’s about to cum. The problem is sometimes it happens all too quick for words.
So look out for these warning signs;
- Sudden change in rhythm
- Thighs and belly tense up
- Head of his penis swells in size
- His breathing changes
- Moaning and panting
- His cock starts spasming
Finishing Up
Congratulations, he’s just said those magical four words, ‘I’m about to cum’. So when do you stop blowing? Well, not before he cums—otherwise, the whole thing has been for nothing. You don’t want to go too long either, as the cock becomes supersensitive once it’s fired its shot. Basically, as you taste cum, slow to a stop.
Spit Or Swallow
It’s a tough one if you really don’t like the taste, but if it’s already in your mouth, then treat it like an oyster and get it down. Spitting it out can be seen as a rejection and that’s quite literally the opposite of what we are trying to achieve by putting his cock in our mouth. If you can’t handle it, then let him cum on your face or another part of your body. Or pull the old switcheroo and get him to put his gun in your holster to finish the job.
Orgasms Aren’t Always The Answer
The truth is some men don’t rate a blowjob as highly as sex and prefer to cum inside you. If that’s the case, he sees a blowjob as an act of foreplay rather than the main event. On the other hand, if he hooks you away from a blowjob, then rolls over and goes to sleep, you guys need to have a chat.
Mix Up Where You Play
My favourite experiences were with a boyfriend in my early twenties. He loved it and would literally request it anytime we were alone, no matter where we were. The variety of never doing it in the same spot twice was a serious turn on for both of us.
So write these down and cross them off as you go;
- In the car, especially if there’s the potential of getting caught
- Steamy shower
- The outdoorsmen, grab a picnic rug and venture down to your local park at night
- In the beach dunes
- Under his study desk, or if you’re really brave, under his work desk
- Sunlouge in the middle of the day
- Under a full moon
Practice Sucking Dick
You know how you made out with a peach to practice kissing? Well, the same goes for a banana when you’re getting ready to give your first blowjob. There is plenty of cock-shaped fruit and veg out there, so get down to your local grocer and pick out your favs.
If you don’t like the idea of going down on your breakfast, then grab yourself a dildo and have a go on that. Whatever you do end up going with, make sure you practice good hygiene and wash anything that’s going into your body.
This is also a great way to train your gag reflex for deep throating.
Regularity
This is cock dependent, of course, but I like to blow my man at least once a week. Porn will have you believe it’s part of all foreplay. But of course, this isn’t true. So discuss it with your boo and cum to an agreement. I can’t stress enough how much a great relationship revolves around BOTH parties being able to communicate then compromise.
Clean Dicks
You’re gonna wanna get your boyfriend to read this part. So listen up, men—smelly, moist, stanky dicks are gross. And where’s the last place you stick something gross? In your mouth! See where I’m going with this? If you want head, clean your cock and clean it well. A good soapy scrub in every shower is basic hygiene. Plus, how can rubbing your cock with a soapy hand be bad? Go on, treat yourself and your girlfriend to a clean johnson today.
HMG Tip: Always carry a travel pack of wet wipes in your handbag
Wet Lips, Sink Ships
If you’re still off-put by having a willy between your lips, try a flavoured lube. I use a cool one called Swiss Navy Desire – Cherry Blast. It’s fucking divine, and it has a built-in warming substance that guys love, especially on those cold winter nights.
A wet blowjob is a good blowjob, so you really need to get your saliva moving. One good way of doing this is by sucking on a lollipop before you get started. Another tip my friend Donna gave me recently was to rub coconut oil on the cock in question before you get busy. Apparently, it’s safe, tastes great and works a treat.
We Are What We Eat
Hopefully, your boyfriend is still reading along because this one is for him too. This is ultra-important for those of us that love a creamy ending. Sweet juices, pineapple in particular, make his load taste like cream custard. Eating healthy and getting plenty of water also makes a big difference to the flavour.
Read The Crowd
The key to mastering the blowjob is not to have the best technique in the world but to have an adaptive range of skills that you deploy as you read his signs. What you do should change each time, depending on the circumstances. Just like a good DJ, pick the song the crowd is begging you to play.
Signs that say you’re doing a good job;
- Moaning
- Thrusting
- Jerking back because it feels TOO good
- Heavy breathing & panting
- Squirming
- Shivering
- Growing hard fast
- Telling you how good it is
- Cumming (especially quickly or powerfully)
- Offers to return the favour
- Asking for it again
So mix up your technique (especially if you’ve got someone new in the bed) and see what he likes.
Sensitivity
The most sensitive part of the cock is the head, particularly the underside, where that piece of skin connects back to the foreskin. Other particularly sensitive areas in that vicinity are;
- Scrotum and balls
- Perineum, the skin between the balls and anus
- Prostate, the small gland at the root of the penis
Mix it up and hit all of these areas for a sheet twisting orgasm.
How Long Should I Suck His Dick For?
How long’s a piece of string again? There’s no right or wrong here, and a lot of it will depend on the physical limitations of your mouth/jaw/tongue and his stamina. I would say the average blowjob is somewhere between 2-10 minutes. What you don’t want is to be predictable. So if you’re short, sweet and vigorous one time, then try being slow, teasing and tortuous the next time.
Give Him The Eye
Look up at him with those big dazzling peepers as innocently as you possibly can. This honestly drives men insane. The only exception to this rule is if you guys are newly dating or he’s particularly shy. In those cases, you might want to dial back the length of the eye hold so you don’t freak him out.
Watch Porn
Yep, I’m setting this as homework. The idea of this task is to get your eye in on a bunch of different techniques and situations to get your creativity flowing. Better still, watch a few videos with your man and pick a few things to try. Some situations might push your limits, so remember to communicate that before you get going and come up with a safe sign.
Embarrassed Much?
Worried what you look like when you’re blowing him? Throw a blindfold on the lucky fella and go to town. Alternatively, turn the lights off and go for glory. Don’t think about problems. Think about solutions because there’s one for everything.
Edging
If your man cums too quickly and either of you wants the blowjob to last longer, then try out a technique called edging. As a quick overview, you basically want to bring your man right up to orgasm, then stop the stimulation. Let him reset, a minute is more than enough, then start up again. This constant teasing of the edge allows the person to become more ‘resilient’ to their orgasm and they will be able to last longer.
Condoms
Sexual safety should always come first. However, it’s really important to remember just how much a condom reduces the pleasure a man is receiving. So if you aren’t concerned about STD’s, then try it without one to really blow his mind.
Weed & Sex
A little bit of Marijuana can go a long way. Not only does it stir up your libido, but it also lowers your inhibitions. So that big scary cock suddenly doesn’t look so big and scary.
Saying that, weed isn’t for everyone and has a wide variety of effects depending on the person. So if this is your first time using weed, I strongly advise you to try it in a non-sexual setting to get used to its effects first. Then as you grow comfortable with it, you can incorporate it into the bedroom.
Trouble Shooting Your Dick Sucking Problems
If you’re having any troubles at all, go back and read the communication section. Don’t run straight for the ‘this must be my fault’ lever and yank on it. For a variety of reasons, our lovers can get really skewed views on sex that can make them act in strange ways when it’s time to get down and dirty.
The good news is that by talking about it openly and honestly, you’ll usually put the problem into perspective and quash it. If this fails, seek out professional help from a sex councillor.
Cums Too Fast: Apply lighter pressure and stick to one technique at a time. Try Edging. Try a condom to reduce sensitivity.
Cums Too Slowly: Apply more pressure and use multiple techniques at once. Start with a handjob to get him primed, then work your way into a blowjob. Hit as many sensitive areas as you can. Talk dirty. Act excited. Discuss what he likes so your play is honed for him.
Wants Blowjobs Too Often: While this is a compliment in one respect, it’s a problem in another. A good chat about expectations and the reasons why it’s too much should resolve this issue. Ultimately though, it’s your body, so it’s your rules. Don’t compromise if you aren’t comfortable.
Never Wants Blowjobs: Firstly, you need to find out why. Chances are it’s a fixable issue, and if it’s not, is it really a deal-breaker to you? If he just hasn’t had a good one, then try some new techniques and positions.
Cocks Too Big: While this sounds like a fantasy, in reality, some dicks are too big to fit in certain places. If this is the case, use some of the other techniques to replace what you can’t do.
Cocks Too Small: This is a MUCH bigger problem for your man than you, so be mindful of that and discuss using some penis enlarging tools such as cock rings and pumps.
Stinky Willy: FORCE HIM to read the ‘Clean Dicks’ section.
Lockjaw: Chances are you’re not mixing up your technique enough. Variety might be the spice of life, but it’s also how you avoid lockjaw.
Can’t Get Into A Rhythm: It depends what the problem is though I’d say it’s happening because you’re both moving at the same time. This is super hard to pull off. So if you’re going for it and he starts bucking, then pin him down and carry on OR hold steady and let him fuck your mouth.
Gagging: Try the alternative techniques in the section ‘Hey, Cheeky.’ Or if you are determined, then go to the ‘Practice’ section and see if you can’t train yourself to get used to it.
Your Skills Aren’t Good Enough: Once upon a time, we all asked someone, ‘What’s a blowjob?’ That’s to say, start from the start and start slow. Any blowjob is better than no blowjob, so get in there and give it a go. And if you pay attention to how your boo’s responding, you’ll be an expert in no time.
Crazy Expectations: An honest and frank conversation is the only way out of this one. If he’s determined not to listen, then it’s time to run.
Responsible Sex
A lot of the advice here gives your man a lot of power. And from my experience, most men treat that with respect. But if you ever get into a situation where you aren’t comfortable, then get the fuck out of there quick-smart. You can say no at any point during a lovemaking session and a good person won’t force it. If he does, take it as a massive red flag.
STD’s are almost as transmittable through oral sex as any other form of sex. Things like chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis and HPV can all be passed on via oral sex. If you are with a new partner that hasn’t had an STD check recently, use a condom or a dental dam until he does. Be warned, he won’t like it as it reduces the feeling of pleasure, but it will be a great incentive for him to go and have an STD check.
I Dub Thee A BJ Queen
Congratulations, you passed! Your certificate in sucking dick like a pro is in the mail. Be sure to frame it and hang it on your bedroom wall!
I hope you learnt alot about the art of the blowjob here. Now go and have fun with your new skills and rock your man’s cock off!